RONNIE AND TOOTSIE (now returned to stage left)
The lady says yeah, yeah, yeah
GARRY
The man says err…should I?
RONNIE AND TOOTSIE
You got a gold plated opportunity
A copper bottom guarantee
RONNIE
The most beautiful girl that you’ve ever seen
CURRANT (to Garry)
I wwish yyou fffancied mme. (OR if Currant and Bunn are male) I wwish shshe fffancied mme)
BUNN
Do sue I
RONNIE AND TOOTSIE
You’re going to blow your chances
The trouble with romance is
She won’t wait for ever
CURRANT
Wwon’t wait for ever
RONNIE AND TOOTSIE
You gotta be brave If you’re going to save
Romantic endeavour
BUNN
Morantic entedour
(Garry gets up, look positive)
RONNIE AND TOOTSIE
So just do it now
And then take a bow
Do it before it’s too late
GARRY
The man says yeah, yeah, yeah
RONNIE AND TOOTSIE (Garry holds up both hands. Ronnie and Tootsie each give him a high five)
Hooray!
The lady will too.
GARRY (Starts to walk across right to Millie. Millie sees him coming and grins)
The man says yeah, yeah, yeah
RONNIE AND TOOTSIE (staying stage left)
The lady will too(music continues quietly. Mr B enters stage up left and calls to Millie)
(JUKEBOX ON PAGE 1 - TRACK 11)
MR B
Millie. You are needed straight away in the geography class
(she gives wistful look to Garry and exits with Mr B stage up left. Garry looks dismal. He is comforted by Ronnie, Tootsie, Currant and Bunn)
GARRY
I hope I get another chance
RONNIE
I’m sure you will. And when you do…..
RONNIE, TOOTSIE AND CURRANT
Take it!
BUNN
Ake t…. (Ronnie, Tootsie and Currant hastily put their hands over Bunn’s mouth)
GARRY
Ok, ok.
(music volume comes up. Garry sings)
The man says yeah, yeah, yeah
RONNIE AND TOOTSIE
The lady will too
CURRANT
The lady will ttoo
GARRY
The man says yeah, yeah, yeah
RONNIE AND TOOTSIE
The lady will too
GARRY
The man says yeah, yeah, yeah
RONNIE AND TOOTSIE
The lady will too
BUNN
The daily till woo
(music ends.
Curtains close OR blackout_______________________________________________________________________
ACT 1 SCENE 3 SET CONSTRUCTION - THE SCHOOL HALL - 1
Personal props - Fgm - knitting
packet of powder and envelope to give to Garry
Vka - balls of wool
Fgm and Vka - stools ready off stage right
Ronnie - placard announcing time, place of set building
M Cmbt - sunglasses
Cast members - pot of paint, hammer
All cast members: tools, pieces of wood etc
Currant - large white handkerchief
Currant and Bunn - stepladder stage down left
Fgm and Vka enter stage right)
VKA
And what is going to happen next?
FGM
They’re going to build the stage.
VKA
I think I’ll start to take some bets
That before we turn the page
They’ll make a blooming awful mess
And they’ll all be
In casualty
(Ronnie enters stage left with placard advertising time and place of set building i.e. now, in school hall, all welcome, bring tools)
RONNIE
All welcome to help with building the stage and the set for our school musical. Time: right now. Place: the school hall. We need people to make tea, people to knock nails in, people to saw wood and… someone to bake a cake (Ronnie pats his stomach.
Tootsie, Millie, Garry, Mr B, Mr C, M Cmbt, Currant, Bunn, Hm and pupils walk on with tools, bits of wood, step ladder, several painted polystyrene planks which can be used in near miss visual gags, paint brushes, brush and dust pan, etc)
RONNIE (to Hm)
We’ve brought our grandmothers with us.
(Vka looks horrified at ‘grandmothers’ and indignantly mouths the word to Fgm)
They’re at a bit of a loose end. Is it OK if they watch?
HM
Of course they can. (to Fgm and Vka) You’re very welcome
FGM
Thank you
(Fgm and Vka sit on stools stage down right.
Fgm does some knitting. Vka helps with balls of wool)
RONNIE
We need to build something to perform our musical on.
TOOTSIE
What are we going to build?
RONNIE
I don’t know
TOOTSIE (stage down right, putting hand on Fgm’s arm)
Fgm. With your help in word and song
We’ll make it up as we go along
MILLIE
First, we need to get some wood and knock some nails into it.
GARRY
OK. Wood, hammer, nails.
Let’s build!!!!
SONG - BUILD A STAGE
(JUKEBOX ON PAGE 1 - TRACK 12)
(music begins. All cast walk and do other movements in time to beat.
Throughout this scene the cast work on pieces of wood which eventually turn into pre prepared boxes of different sizes, strong enough to be stood on by cast and used in choreography. Hidden so far as possible, during the course of the song the individual pieces of wood go off stage and the completed boxes are brought on)
ALL CAST (sing)
Were gonna - build a stage With a million twinkling lights
We’re gonna - build a stage We’re gonna work with all our might
Until we - get it done And then how proud we’ll be
We’re gonna - build and build for you and me.
We need a - hammer and - a hundred shiny nails
We need some - helping hands - we will never fail
We got a - lot of heart - everyone can see
We’re gonna - build and build for you and me
Picasso - no you ain’t (cast observe poor painting by cast member)
Careful with that hammer (cast member nearly hits someone with hammer)
Will you - pass the paint (one cast member goes to pass a big tin marked paint to another cast member, trips, throws tin of paint up. It is caught by cast member)
Easy with that ladder (Currant and Bunn climb step ladder to paint something)
We can - get it right - if we go carefully
We’re gonna - build and build for you and me.
(Music fades out)
TOOTSIE
It’s going well
MILLIE
Thank goodness for the Fgm. We would never have been able to do this without her magic spell.
GARRY
Not a chance.
TOOTSIE
M Cmbt, why are you wearing sunglasses?
M CMBT
I’ve told you. I am a star and all ze great stars wear sunglasses.
TOOTSIE
Even indoors?
M CMBT
But of course
(he walks on and bumps into set , hurts head
OR nearly falls off stage, saved by Tootsie.
Short spell of music)
MR B (to Ronnie)
You know, Ronnie, if you want to do well at school you have to work very hard. Do you find it difficult to work? Do you have to force it? Do you have to drive yourself to work?
RONNIE
No I usually catch the bus
CURRANT
Ccatch the bbus
BUNN
Batch the cuss
CURRANT
Hhold ttight
BUNN
All pares flease
(Short spell of music
Currant pretends to drive bus with Bunn holding on to overhead strap)
MR B (to Mr Camp)
You know, the headmistress has been looking a lot better recently, even a bit younger
MR C
Yes, it takes years off her, you know, when she puts her teeth in(short spell of music)
PLEASE GO TO PAGE 10 - left click on page number above left