MR C, M CMBT AND MR B
I’m gonna be the star of the show
Mr C
Just twy and stop me
MR C, M CMBT AND MR B
I’m gonna be the star of the show
MR B
In falsetto
MR C, M CMBT AND MR B
I’m gonna be the star of the show
HM
What a - (Tootsie presses hooter twice)
MR C, M CMBT AND MR B
I’m going to be the star--- of- the- show---/--Yeah!
(Music stops. All three bow, elbowing each other out of way. M Cmbt takes elaborate bow. Hm kicks his bum then looks innocently away, whistling. M Cmbt blames Mr B)
HM
Right. Come on you lot (indicating the three teachers). I’m sure they’ll want to hear some of the pupils auditioning so let’s get back to our classes. Carry on Millie
(Hm, Mr B, M Cmbt and Mr C exit stage left)
MILLIE
Thank you. OK. (to chorus) Let’s try this dance step. Just follow Tootsie and me.
(Millie and Tootsie demonstrate dance step. Speaking)
First you move it this way, then you move it that way. Keep it in sinc.
PUPILS (chaotic dance, bumping into each other. Speaking)
First you move it this way, then you move it that way. What do you think?
MILLIE (angry and impatient)
How come you lot are all so stupid!
TOOTSIE (also angry and impatient)
Look! It’s really easy. Just look at what we’re doing!
GARRY (ironically imitating Fgm)
Meditate
RONNIE
Contemplate
GARRY
Germinate
RONNIE
Grow
MILLIE AND TOOTSIE (with exasperated frustration at Garry and Ronnie)
Aaaaaaaaaah!
MILLIE (controlling herself)
OK. We’ll have a short break.
(Chorus moves around, sits down, relaxes, exercises)
GARRY
Errr…. Millie
MILLIE (sharply)
What?
GARRY
I’ve got the first line of a ballad for the show. Tell me what you think about it
(music begins. He sings from music manuscript paper)
If I could tell her of the way I feel,
Wouldn’t it be, the greatest thing on earth
(music stops)
MILLIE (with kindness)
That’s good. Let me have a look.
(she takes manuscript paper. Music begins. She sings)
If I could tell him of the way I feel,
Wouldn’t it be, the greatest thing on earth
(music stops)
GARRY (to Millie)
What do you think?
(Mr C, M Cmbt and Mr B enter stage right)
MR C
What do I think? Well I think it’s the biggest load of wubbish I’ve ever heard. What do you think, Fwoggy?
M CMBT
I have never heard… such a load of merde
MR B
Murdered, you’ve absolutely murdered the art of music. But never mind. Keep trying. Look on the positive side. That was so bad that anything else you try has got to be an
improvement.
(Mr C, M Cmbt and Mr B, full of self congratulation exit stage left)
GARRY (deflated)
Errr…. Millie, what do you think about….
MILLIE
What?
GARRY
What do you think about ….you and me….
(Tootsie and Ronnie take great interest in this exchange between Millie and Garry, encouraging Garry behind Millie’s back)
MILLIE (eager)
Yes?
GARRY
About you and me….doing a song together in the show, a duet?
MILLIE (disappointed)
Yes. That would be great
CHORUS MEMBER (pointing to the song sheet)
Millie, can we try these dance moves again now please?
MILLIE
Ok. Let’s do it
SONG - THE MAN SAYS NO
(JUKEBOX ON PAGE 1 - TRACK 8)
(Music begins.
Millie rehearses dance steps with pupils stage right.
Ronnie, Tootsie and Garry move stage left and sit together on three chairs, Garry in centre chair.
Currant and Bunn go with them but watch Millie and follow her dance steps)
MILLIE (singing and demonstrating dance moves)
First you move it this way
Then you move it that way
Keep it in sinc
PUPILS (chaotic dance, bumping into each other)
First you move it this way
Then you move it that way
What do you think?
MILLIE
We’d better try again
We’ll do it once and then We’ll do it till we get it right.
Have you got it?
PUPILS (again chaotic)
No, no, no
MILLIE
Try it again (pupils start to do correct dance steps)
Have you got it?
PUPILS (doing all correct moves)
Yeah, yeah, yeah
MILLIE
Let it sink in
(music continues quietly while Millie rehearses dance moves with chorus stage right)
(JUKEBOX ON PAGE 1 - TRACK 9)
RONNIE (to Garry)
Garry, my old mate. You really fancy her don’t you?
GARRY
Who?
RONNIE
The headmistress! Millie of course
GARRY
Well…………..
RONNIE
Why don’t you just ask her out? You’ve got nothing to lose.
GARRY
Well…………..
TOOTSIE
He’s right you know. Millie is my best mate and I know she likes you.
GARRY (takes a look right at Millie)
She does?
CURRANT (nodding head)
Shshe ddoes
BUNN (nodding head)
Dee shuz
RONNIE
You should take some lessons from Tootsie on the best way to ask someone for a date (Tootsie stand up indignantly).
TOOTSIE
Well actually…….
(JUKEBOX ON PAGE 1 - TRACK 10)
RONNIE (sings)
The man is sad and lonely (indicating Garry)
Cos he’s always on his own
He never goes out
He needs someone to cheer him
(Ronnie sits stage left of Garry with Tootsie on the other side of Garry)
To sit right down and hear him
Talk his troubles right out
TOOTSIE
But if the lady tries (Tootsie points to Millie)
To help him socialise
The gentleman says no, no, no
(Garry shakes head)
RONNIE AND TOOTSIE
The lady says yeah, yeah, yeah (Tootsie points across to Millie)
GARRY
The man says no (Garry shakes his head)
RONNIE AND TOOTSIE
The lady says yeah, yeah, yeah
GARRY
The man says no, no, no
(during next verse Tootsie goes stage right to Millie and mimes talking confidentially to her about Garry. Millie looks across at Garry, smiles and nods her head to Tootsie. Tootsie then goes back stage left to Ronnie and Garry)
RONNIE
You know you’ve got a heartache
The only way to cure it is
To do something rash.
You know you’ve got a target (Ronnie indicates Millie)
So take your cupid’s arrow
And don’t make a hash.
The opportunity
Is there for all to see
You’ve just got to give it a bash
The lady says yeah, yeah, yeah
GARRY
The man says no
PLEASE GO TO PAGE 9 - left click on page number above left